Life Insurance

I’ve heard the “Why you need life insurance” spiel enough times that I have come up with an effective defense. This is how it goes:

Life Insurance Salesman: Sheldon, you *need* life insurance?

Sheldon: Why? Did Sarah say something?

LIS: Sarah, oh, no she didn’t say anything but what if you die? Don’t you want Sarah to be taken care of financially.

Sheldon: Sure, but she has a job too. And if I die anytime soon, she’s a pretty girl, she’ll find someone else.

LIS: But for a dollar a day you can have the satisfaction that she’ll be taken care of for a life time. Isn’t that worth just one dollar?

Sheldon: Okay, so for $365 per year I’m may get a $1,000,000 payout in the next 20 years. In 20 years, I would pay in over $7000 and if I don’t die I’m out $7000 plus interest. If I do die, Sarah is a millionaire. Mo money, mo problems. I think I’ll pass.

LIS: But Sheldon, don’t you care about Sarah? Don’t you want her to have a comfortable life? How can you be so crass?

Sheldon: You’re right. From now on when the Powerball is above $300 million, I’ll throw in $20. That’s my obligation. And at least the money goes into an education fund or something for the state instead of contributing to your new Hummer.

I actually has a conversation like that with a LIS. And, the Powerball was over $300 million a few weeks ago and I actually did throw in $20. I lost. And, if I would have purchased life insurance I would be out over $300 this year alone. So far I’d be loosing that bet too.